I'M TOLD THAT SAM MENDES IS PLANNING TO KILL ME IN TODAY'S ISSUE OF 1917 FILMING. I WON'T GO TO THIS PLAGUE OF A FILM PRODUCTION. IT IS TOO MUCH TO BE KILLED EVERY WEEK OF THE YEAR WITH THIS GUY, SAM MENDES. HE'S A CRIMINAL AND THIEF. HE WON'T FADGE THIS MAN AND HIS FAMILY. HE WILL BE DEAD IN A WHILE ANYWAY. HE'S GOT CANCER OF THE LIVER AND STOMACH AND SPLEEN, I HEAR.
This is Colin Firth. I am hereby resigning from the movie 1917. I no longer wish to work with Sam Mendes and his filthy crew of bastards.
Here's my take on the happenings of the Amazon crew: I am sad to announce that Amazon's leader, Jeff Bezos is now sad that he has lost half his fortune to his ex-wife. I am going to further announce that Jeff Bezos is now handing over the reins of Amazon to his friend and guru, James Darnowski who is also known as Hugh Bonneville. I am sure that everyone knows the latter as he is the guy in Downton Abbey. Hugh is a big man in Hollywood these days. He is set to star with Colin Firth in the story about how a man lost his dick in the time of Christ. And that is all. CF